29 May 2011

Things that are irritating me this week.

I'm actually having a really fantastic week, but I'm not going to let that stop me from whining about things in the most comical way I can... 

1.  Wyoming residents ability to drive, particularly in Cheyenne.
See, I've stated several times to my out-of-state friends that Wyoming does in fact have four seasons, they're just wrong.  The seasons we have are Winter, Still Winter, Construction, and Rodeo.  Anywho, we are now smack in the middle of Construction which just puts the stupidity of drivers in this town into even more stark detail.  This week, I drove home a different route everyday in some futile attempt to avoid construction...ha!  How silly of me.  Of course, it was unavoidable, but what baffled me is that every time I drove home I ran into a car accident.  Seriously.  One day I drove through three.  As it is one of our seasons, you'd think Wyoming residents would recognize the intricate language of orange cones and avoid the minimal amount of danger they create, but no...it is better if we drive through the cones and straight into the ditch.  You know how when you drive past an accident and you can sort of guess how things went down?  Not here!  We are creative in our vehicular destruction in the great state of Wyoming.  >.<

2.  Schedules that don't seem to have important dates on them.
I won't share the specific story that goes with this one, but I'm sure my moderately organized friend understand the general frustration this causes. 

3.  The fact that I am still terrible at the piano.
I've actually been practicing as it turns out.  Haha!  I took a break from working my way through some piano books to learn the voice parts for the musical I'm teaching here in a week or so.  The voice parts.  For children.  That means one note at a time and no pedal.  I'm not musically stupid, but every time I see Bb Major, I turn into a person who has broken both of their elbow and has had their fingers replaced with seaweed.  WHAT MEANS THIS TWO FLATS!?!?!?  Yet I can play in Eb juuuuuust fine.  What?  Seriously, brain??  There are harder keys...I know there are.  I had to play them in scales for proficiency.  BUT B FLAT IS HAAAAAAAARD!!!!!  Hell.

4.  People who don't inform applicants when a position has been filled. 
Screw you guys.  I want a job.  Oddly enough, I imagine this little paragraph may well prevent me from being hired. 

5.  SciFi (SyFy is just stupid.  Just another gem from the mind of the man whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1.) channel's approach to holidays.
For those of you who live in eternal denial of the fact that I am a trekkie (Daniel), you may wish to skip down.  This particular irritation is best illustrated in the following scene I just wrote.  We find ourselves in an office resembling a closet with far too many toys from happy meals.  As we approach, we hear a conversation between three men whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1, Shareholder, and Intern.
Corporate Moron 1: Memorial Day weekend is upon us!!  Whatever shall we show on our channel??
Shareholder: I feel we should show a Star Trek marathon.  Everyone loves Star Trek.  And that's SciFi (Excuse me, SyFy), right?
Corporate Moron 1: Brilliant, sir!  Another excellent idea!  That's why we listen to you!  For the ideas!  Not at all because your money is the only thing keeping our channel afloat!
Intern: Sir, we do a Star Trek marathon every holiday...and also every Monday from 2-7...also, some weekends when we can't come up with any terrible ideas for our original movies...
Corporate Moron 1: Gasp!
Shareholder: Silly Intern!  This is no ordinary Star Trek marathon.   This is a Star Trek movie marathon. 
Corporate Moron 1: Your best idea ever, sir!!
Intern: Oh, that'll be pretty cool. 
Shareholder: Ah, yes, I am wonderful, aren't I?  We shall play Star Trek movies all weekend!  And we shall play them in no discernible order!  Those numbers attached to the titles are silly!  Canon means nothing to us here at SyFy!!
Intern: But sir, the trekkies...shouldn't we play them in order?
Corporate Moron 1: Nonsense, Intern!  This is a fantastic idea!!
Shareholder: And we shall play Nemesis the most because that is the best and my favourite Star Trek movie!
Corporate Moron 1: Yes!  Yes!
Intern: Really, Nemesis?
Shareholder: And we shall "forget" to play Star Trek III!!  And we won't play Wrath of Khan untill two in the morning!!
Intern: Oh dear...
Corporate Moron 1: No one like The Search for Spock anyway!!
Shareholder: And anytime we would've meant to play III, we'll instead play...ZARDOZ!!!!!
Corporate Moron 1: Oh...Zardoz?  Sir, I don't know...
Intern: Really?  That's where you draw the line?
I actually would've been down with some Zardoz.  That's one on a long list of scifi movies that are sooooo terrible they've cycled right back around into awesome somehow.  But yeah, the Star Trek movie marathon this weekend has been an adventure.  (They did replace Star Trek III with Sunshine.  Sunshine is a fantastic movie, but really doesn't belong in a Star Trek marathon.  At least it's in space, I guess.)

6.  My car.
We have now spent approximately $500 more in repairs for the Mazda than it originally cost.  Awesome.  And yet, I'll still be driving the rolling death trap to Minnesota this summer.  Wish me luck!

I'm gonna go write more of my lesson plans and continue plucking away at the piano. 

1 comment:

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