21 August 2011
Blogger doesn't much like me these days...
...so I'm moving. I'll let the few of you who read this know as soon as I get it set up.
02 June 2011
Imposing wall of calm...of doom.
I've hit some sort of wall of karmic calm and I'm not certain what to do with it. My life, for the most part, has been an insane sort of adventure with up and downs, turbulent brushes with death, really wonderful opportunities, and my favorite times when I'm able to just sit in a room with a few close friends and be. Yeah. Life has been pretty satisfactory on a whole despite or because of everything that happens to me, but it's never been calm. Not once.
Over all, I'm just not a calm person and a calm life doesn't suit me. In fact, that is why I treasure the times when I can relax with people I love. I raced through childhood, adolescence, and college and have ended up in a place that, up untill recently, I considered limbo. I do not have the full time career that is fabled to come with this magic piece of paper I paid tens of thousands of dollars for. I'm still living in Cheyenne, which is not a place I've ever been particularly attached to. The whole having-a-family thing is far out on the horizon and may not ever be something I care to pursue with much vigor. I'm just kind of...being for awhile untill the life kicks in again.
Or at least I was.
I'm not quite sure when it happened exactly, but over the past week I've been feeling something akin to contentment with what I'm doing right now. It's as if I'm okay with just this being my life and I know that that's wrong. If someone told me that this was as far as I was going to get for the rest of my life, I would not be okay with that. So, why am I okay with it right now?
I'm enjoying being contented, I just don't know that I'm okay with it happening under these circumstances. And it's making me contemplate weird things. Like, am I content because I need the feeling of being settled once in my life? And if so, will I go back to my old ways once I am settled thereby making my feelings of anxiety and wanderlust worse? Am I subconciously conning myself into being happy because I'm scared of what the future holds? Will I flip out when an opportunity comes my way? Will said flipping out cause me to screw up something I actually want? Am I capable of liking someone anymore or do I just like being liked? How often am I being misinterpreted when I say or do things and what kind of damage is it causing?
Heavy, I know. And after that mess, you might wonder if I actually am happy and yeah, I am. At least for now. I just am not sure why.
Over all, I'm just not a calm person and a calm life doesn't suit me. In fact, that is why I treasure the times when I can relax with people I love. I raced through childhood, adolescence, and college and have ended up in a place that, up untill recently, I considered limbo. I do not have the full time career that is fabled to come with this magic piece of paper I paid tens of thousands of dollars for. I'm still living in Cheyenne, which is not a place I've ever been particularly attached to. The whole having-a-family thing is far out on the horizon and may not ever be something I care to pursue with much vigor. I'm just kind of...being for awhile untill the life kicks in again.
Or at least I was.
I'm not quite sure when it happened exactly, but over the past week I've been feeling something akin to contentment with what I'm doing right now. It's as if I'm okay with just this being my life and I know that that's wrong. If someone told me that this was as far as I was going to get for the rest of my life, I would not be okay with that. So, why am I okay with it right now?
I'm enjoying being contented, I just don't know that I'm okay with it happening under these circumstances. And it's making me contemplate weird things. Like, am I content because I need the feeling of being settled once in my life? And if so, will I go back to my old ways once I am settled thereby making my feelings of anxiety and wanderlust worse? Am I subconciously conning myself into being happy because I'm scared of what the future holds? Will I flip out when an opportunity comes my way? Will said flipping out cause me to screw up something I actually want? Am I capable of liking someone anymore or do I just like being liked? How often am I being misinterpreted when I say or do things and what kind of damage is it causing?
Heavy, I know. And after that mess, you might wonder if I actually am happy and yeah, I am. At least for now. I just am not sure why.
01 June 2011
Why yes, I do work in IT...
As I am soon leaving this job, I'm going to share with you some of my favourite exchanges from my time in ye olde Computer Center.
At a job application website: "It's asking me for my resume; should I upload my resume or what should I do?" (Note: I am punctuating these sentences as I hear them in my head, but knowing this guy, there's no way in hell he'd think to use a semicolon.)
With the internet browser open on the screen: "How do I get to the internet?"
"Why is it deleting my browser history?"
"That's just something our computers do to erase any personal information you might've used while on the internet. It happens when you close the browser. It's just a security thing; don't worry about it."
"But I didn't close the browser, I just closed the window."
Thinking that browser did not equal internet in her brain, I said, "If you exited out of the internet, though, that thing is going to pop up."
"I didn't exit out of the internet."
Okay, maybe an actual error happened. "You didn't?"
"No, I just hit the red X."
(I cannot do this one justice in text, but I HAVE to write it down.)
At 5:30: "Hey sister, what time do y'all close?"
"We close at 6:00."
"Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man..."
(I wanted to see how long he would've gone on like this, but Daniel decided to say something to him. Damn!)
After maybe 3 nanoseconds of waving the card's barcode under the scanner light as though she were having a seizure: "I CAN'T GET THIS TO WORK WHY WON'T IT SCAN WHAT AM I DOING WRONG I NEED HELP IT'S NOT WORKING DO THIS FOR ME THIS THING NEVER WORKS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY AHHHHHHHHH!"
"How do I get to a webpage if it doesn't exist anymore?"
On the phone...on the quiet floor: "I'M AT THE LIBRARY SO YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET!"
(This one has nothing to do with IT, but it was pretty awesome. So, I work in a library, right?)
A mother to her child in the library: "Remember that place with all the books? I want you to go there."
(I feel like a jerk when I say stuff like this, but if I point at the screen, the try to touch the screen instead of using the mouse.)
"Where do I type in my pin?"
"In the box next to where it says 'pin'."
"Where do I scan my barcode?"
"Underneath the big arrow that says 'Scan Here'."
"What button do I press if I want a day pass?"
"You just touch that button that says 'Create a Day Pass'."
"I put in google in the address bar. Why won't it go to google?"
"Did you type 'www.google.com'?"
"No, I typed google."
After showing me one of those fabled emails from Prince Ahmud Jafar in Kenya or whatever: "Now, if I send him my bank account information, will anyone else be able to steal it from this computer? 'Cause this is a public computer, right? Is there some way we can delete this info after I send it to him?"
At a job application website: "It's asking me for my resume; should I upload my resume or what should I do?" (Note: I am punctuating these sentences as I hear them in my head, but knowing this guy, there's no way in hell he'd think to use a semicolon.)
With the internet browser open on the screen: "How do I get to the internet?"
"Why is it deleting my browser history?"
"That's just something our computers do to erase any personal information you might've used while on the internet. It happens when you close the browser. It's just a security thing; don't worry about it."
"But I didn't close the browser, I just closed the window."
Thinking that browser did not equal internet in her brain, I said, "If you exited out of the internet, though, that thing is going to pop up."
"I didn't exit out of the internet."
Okay, maybe an actual error happened. "You didn't?"
"No, I just hit the red X."
(I cannot do this one justice in text, but I HAVE to write it down.)
At 5:30: "Hey sister, what time do y'all close?"
"We close at 6:00."
"Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man... Right! Man..."
(I wanted to see how long he would've gone on like this, but Daniel decided to say something to him. Damn!)
After maybe 3 nanoseconds of waving the card's barcode under the scanner light as though she were having a seizure: "I CAN'T GET THIS TO WORK WHY WON'T IT SCAN WHAT AM I DOING WRONG I NEED HELP IT'S NOT WORKING DO THIS FOR ME THIS THING NEVER WORKS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY AHHHHHHHHH!"
"How do I get to a webpage if it doesn't exist anymore?"
On the phone...on the quiet floor: "I'M AT THE LIBRARY SO YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET!"
(This one has nothing to do with IT, but it was pretty awesome. So, I work in a library, right?)
A mother to her child in the library: "Remember that place with all the books? I want you to go there."
(I feel like a jerk when I say stuff like this, but if I point at the screen, the try to touch the screen instead of using the mouse.)
"Where do I type in my pin?"
"In the box next to where it says 'pin'."
"Where do I scan my barcode?"
"Underneath the big arrow that says 'Scan Here'."
"What button do I press if I want a day pass?"
"You just touch that button that says 'Create a Day Pass'."
"I put in google in the address bar. Why won't it go to google?"
"Did you type 'www.google.com'?"
"No, I typed google."
After showing me one of those fabled emails from Prince Ahmud Jafar in Kenya or whatever: "Now, if I send him my bank account information, will anyone else be able to steal it from this computer? 'Cause this is a public computer, right? Is there some way we can delete this info after I send it to him?"
29 May 2011
Things that are irritating me this week.
I'm actually having a really fantastic week, but I'm not going to let that stop me from whining about things in the most comical way I can...
1. Wyoming residents ability to drive, particularly in Cheyenne.
See, I've stated several times to my out-of-state friends that Wyoming does in fact have four seasons, they're just wrong. The seasons we have are Winter, Still Winter, Construction, and Rodeo. Anywho, we are now smack in the middle of Construction which just puts the stupidity of drivers in this town into even more stark detail. This week, I drove home a different route everyday in some futile attempt to avoid construction...ha! How silly of me. Of course, it was unavoidable, but what baffled me is that every time I drove home I ran into a car accident. Seriously. One day I drove through three. As it is one of our seasons, you'd think Wyoming residents would recognize the intricate language of orange cones and avoid the minimal amount of danger they create, but no...it is better if we drive through the cones and straight into the ditch. You know how when you drive past an accident and you can sort of guess how things went down? Not here! We are creative in our vehicular destruction in the great state of Wyoming. >.<
2. Schedules that don't seem to have important dates on them.
I won't share the specific story that goes with this one, but I'm sure my moderately organized friend understand the general frustration this causes.
3. The fact that I am still terrible at the piano.
I've actually been practicing as it turns out. Haha! I took a break from working my way through some piano books to learn the voice parts for the musical I'm teaching here in a week or so. The voice parts. For children. That means one note at a time and no pedal. I'm not musically stupid, but every time I see Bb Major, I turn into a person who has broken both of their elbow and has had their fingers replaced with seaweed. WHAT MEANS THIS TWO FLATS!?!?!? Yet I can play in Eb juuuuuust fine. What? Seriously, brain?? There are harder keys...I know there are. I had to play them in scales for proficiency. BUT B FLAT IS HAAAAAAAARD!!!!! Hell.
4. People who don't inform applicants when a position has been filled.
Screw you guys. I want a job. Oddly enough, I imagine this little paragraph may well prevent me from being hired.
5. SciFi (SyFy is just stupid. Just another gem from the mind of the man whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1.) channel's approach to holidays.
For those of you who live in eternal denial of the fact that I am a trekkie (Daniel), you may wish to skip down. This particular irritation is best illustrated in the following scene I just wrote. We find ourselves in an office resembling a closet with far too many toys from happy meals. As we approach, we hear a conversation between three men whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1, Shareholder, and Intern.
Corporate Moron 1: Memorial Day weekend is upon us!! Whatever shall we show on our channel??
Shareholder: I feel we should show a Star Trek marathon. Everyone loves Star Trek. And that's SciFi (Excuse me, SyFy), right?
Corporate Moron 1: Brilliant, sir! Another excellent idea! That's why we listen to you! For the ideas! Not at all because your money is the only thing keeping our channel afloat!
Intern: Sir, we do a Star Trek marathon every holiday...and also every Monday from 2-7...also, some weekends when we can't come up with any terrible ideas for our original movies...
Corporate Moron 1: Gasp!
Shareholder: Silly Intern! This is no ordinary Star Trek marathon. This is a Star Trek movie marathon.
Corporate Moron 1: Your best idea ever, sir!!
Intern: Oh, that'll be pretty cool.
Shareholder: Ah, yes, I am wonderful, aren't I? We shall play Star Trek movies all weekend! And we shall play them in no discernible order! Those numbers attached to the titles are silly! Canon means nothing to us here at SyFy!!
Intern: But sir, the trekkies...shouldn't we play them in order?
Corporate Moron 1: Nonsense, Intern! This is a fantastic idea!!
Shareholder: And we shall play Nemesis the most because that is the best and my favourite Star Trek movie!
Corporate Moron 1: Yes! Yes!
Intern: Really, Nemesis?
Shareholder: And we shall "forget" to play Star Trek III!! And we won't play Wrath of Khan untill two in the morning!!
Intern: Oh dear...
Corporate Moron 1: No one like The Search for Spock anyway!!
Shareholder: And anytime we would've meant to play III, we'll instead play...ZARDOZ!!!!!
Corporate Moron 1: Oh...Zardoz? Sir, I don't know...
Intern: Really? That's where you draw the line?
I actually would've been down with some Zardoz. That's one on a long list of scifi movies that are sooooo terrible they've cycled right back around into awesome somehow. But yeah, the Star Trek movie marathon this weekend has been an adventure. (They did replace Star Trek III with Sunshine. Sunshine is a fantastic movie, but really doesn't belong in a Star Trek marathon. At least it's in space, I guess.)
6. My car.
We have now spent approximately $500 more in repairs for the Mazda than it originally cost. Awesome. And yet, I'll still be driving the rolling death trap to Minnesota this summer. Wish me luck!
I'm gonna go write more of my lesson plans and continue plucking away at the piano.
1. Wyoming residents ability to drive, particularly in Cheyenne.
See, I've stated several times to my out-of-state friends that Wyoming does in fact have four seasons, they're just wrong. The seasons we have are Winter, Still Winter, Construction, and Rodeo. Anywho, we are now smack in the middle of Construction which just puts the stupidity of drivers in this town into even more stark detail. This week, I drove home a different route everyday in some futile attempt to avoid construction...ha! How silly of me. Of course, it was unavoidable, but what baffled me is that every time I drove home I ran into a car accident. Seriously. One day I drove through three. As it is one of our seasons, you'd think Wyoming residents would recognize the intricate language of orange cones and avoid the minimal amount of danger they create, but no...it is better if we drive through the cones and straight into the ditch. You know how when you drive past an accident and you can sort of guess how things went down? Not here! We are creative in our vehicular destruction in the great state of Wyoming. >.<
2. Schedules that don't seem to have important dates on them.
I won't share the specific story that goes with this one, but I'm sure my moderately organized friend understand the general frustration this causes.
3. The fact that I am still terrible at the piano.
I've actually been practicing as it turns out. Haha! I took a break from working my way through some piano books to learn the voice parts for the musical I'm teaching here in a week or so. The voice parts. For children. That means one note at a time and no pedal. I'm not musically stupid, but every time I see Bb Major, I turn into a person who has broken both of their elbow and has had their fingers replaced with seaweed. WHAT MEANS THIS TWO FLATS!?!?!? Yet I can play in Eb juuuuuust fine. What? Seriously, brain?? There are harder keys...I know there are. I had to play them in scales for proficiency. BUT B FLAT IS HAAAAAAAARD!!!!! Hell.
4. People who don't inform applicants when a position has been filled.
Screw you guys. I want a job. Oddly enough, I imagine this little paragraph may well prevent me from being hired.
5. SciFi (SyFy is just stupid. Just another gem from the mind of the man whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1.) channel's approach to holidays.
For those of you who live in eternal denial of the fact that I am a trekkie (Daniel), you may wish to skip down. This particular irritation is best illustrated in the following scene I just wrote. We find ourselves in an office resembling a closet with far too many toys from happy meals. As we approach, we hear a conversation between three men whom I shall call Corporate Moron 1, Shareholder, and Intern.
Corporate Moron 1: Memorial Day weekend is upon us!! Whatever shall we show on our channel??
Shareholder: I feel we should show a Star Trek marathon. Everyone loves Star Trek. And that's SciFi (Excuse me, SyFy), right?
Corporate Moron 1: Brilliant, sir! Another excellent idea! That's why we listen to you! For the ideas! Not at all because your money is the only thing keeping our channel afloat!
Intern: Sir, we do a Star Trek marathon every holiday...and also every Monday from 2-7...also, some weekends when we can't come up with any terrible ideas for our original movies...
Corporate Moron 1: Gasp!
Shareholder: Silly Intern! This is no ordinary Star Trek marathon. This is a Star Trek movie marathon.
Corporate Moron 1: Your best idea ever, sir!!
Intern: Oh, that'll be pretty cool.
Shareholder: Ah, yes, I am wonderful, aren't I? We shall play Star Trek movies all weekend! And we shall play them in no discernible order! Those numbers attached to the titles are silly! Canon means nothing to us here at SyFy!!
Intern: But sir, the trekkies...shouldn't we play them in order?
Corporate Moron 1: Nonsense, Intern! This is a fantastic idea!!
Shareholder: And we shall play Nemesis the most because that is the best and my favourite Star Trek movie!
Corporate Moron 1: Yes! Yes!
Intern: Really, Nemesis?
Shareholder: And we shall "forget" to play Star Trek III!! And we won't play Wrath of Khan untill two in the morning!!
Intern: Oh dear...
Corporate Moron 1: No one like The Search for Spock anyway!!
Shareholder: And anytime we would've meant to play III, we'll instead play...ZARDOZ!!!!!
Corporate Moron 1: Oh...Zardoz? Sir, I don't know...
Intern: Really? That's where you draw the line?
I actually would've been down with some Zardoz. That's one on a long list of scifi movies that are sooooo terrible they've cycled right back around into awesome somehow. But yeah, the Star Trek movie marathon this weekend has been an adventure. (They did replace Star Trek III with Sunshine. Sunshine is a fantastic movie, but really doesn't belong in a Star Trek marathon. At least it's in space, I guess.)
6. My car.
We have now spent approximately $500 more in repairs for the Mazda than it originally cost. Awesome. And yet, I'll still be driving the rolling death trap to Minnesota this summer. Wish me luck!
I'm gonna go write more of my lesson plans and continue plucking away at the piano.
23 April 2011
A personal adventure...
You know, I used to be quite the book worm. I devoured books. I kept telling myself in college that the reason I didn't do that anymore is because I was reading all these academic texts and I was, but what's my excuse now? I don't have one. And there are an awful lot of books I should have read that I just didn't ever get to. This week and the next month, I'm turning off my television and going to get some things read. Here is my list so far and I welcome some recommendations!
Danse Macabre - Gerald Elias
Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury (Thanks, Daniel!)
Turn of the Screw and Other Stories - Henry James
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Long Days Journey Into Night - Eugene O'Neill
Bhagavadgita
Moll Flanders - Daniel Defoe
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil - John Berendt
The Student Conductor - Robert Ford
Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury (Thanks, Daniel!)
Turn of the Screw and Other Stories - Henry James
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Long Days Journey Into Night - Eugene O'Neill
Bhagavadgita
Moll Flanders - Daniel Defoe
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil - John Berendt
The Student Conductor - Robert Ford
19 April 2011
I'm gonna do this.
I have this rad idea for a party. I want to have people over, like a small cozy amount. And what we're gonna do is get some wine and some nifty finger food-esque sort of things. Then we're gonna get some of the awesome kid movies from yesteryear that we grew up with. THEN we're gonna get an epic amount of colouring book pages. We put all these things together in my house and we drink and watch cool movies and colour and geek out on nostalgia. Oh yeah. It's gonna happen.
14 April 2011
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